I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
