weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
