Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
