I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize