please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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