In the future we'll all be gay
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
