he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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