This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
