none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
