My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
