I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Randomize
