your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
