I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
home. puking in laundry basket.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize