After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
