i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
