A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
