Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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