dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
