I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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