Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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