ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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