This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
