I skipped work to stalk him.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Randomize