What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
