Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Randomize
