like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
She bit a glass in half.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
