Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
We need to get me chipped asap
Help. Why am I so naked?
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
