Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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