I swear god or herbie drove my car home
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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