I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
