Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Randomize
