shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize