As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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