I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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