I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
