Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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