if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
We are all done wearing pants today
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