I hate your face
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I think I sprained my soul last night
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
