What did we do last night that was yellow?
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
