dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
