she kept yelling 'call me bella'
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
