so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
