Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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