This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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