I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
