he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
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