I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
