At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
