i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
