Having a random hookup so left but love u
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
