Tell her she can't have a vagina
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
