Kareoke will never be a sober sport
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Randomize
