I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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