he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize
