i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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