Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Randomize
