nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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