It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize