So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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