He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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