Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Just puked most of my soul out..
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
