"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Congratulations! We have a period
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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