I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
