U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
