i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
