watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
